Home sweet home?

I cannot wait until I study abroad. Or at least to travel somewhere outside of my state. There are so many exciting things to look forward to in my life, but somehow I have a serious problem with just focusing on the negatives. And then when I start feeling sad I think: I have no right to be feeling this way. Everything in my life is okay. Think about people who are less fortunate than you and how they still make the best but you are still here drowning in self-pity. Then I kind of get mad at myself. It’s extremely frustrating but I couldn’t even count the number of times that it’s happened. However, I am hoping that I can learn to pick up and move on much more easily very soon. I have started to be able to just make myself keep going and simply live. I have sometimes started to realize that I am so lucky to even be on this planet, so I should do something to show my appreciation for existing. One day, I would also love to be able to actually make decisions on my own without freaking out about them or dwelling or regretting.

I am home right now. It is an awkward time to be home because I wasn’t even at school for a week before coming back. And I will also be back here in two weeks. But I felt bad because my mom really wanted me to come home but then she said I didn’t have to but I would have felt guilty if I didn’t so I did. Hopefully I can cheer her up. Tomorrow we are going to brunch at one of our favorite places. 

I’m shocked that it is still so incredibly icy here- not just on the trees or grass, but there were several patches on the road as well. I mean, this is the south. So weird. Maybe I will be able to take some photos but I don’t have much time to spend here so we will have to see. I felt like writing a lot tonight so I did. I need to finish my job application tomorrow. My brother has the “heat” on 67 degrees. Night night.